Ask DK #2

THIS IS A NEW SEGMENT OF THE WEBSITE WHERE OUR EDITOR, Dee Kay, gives advice to those who seek his help.

Female, 23, India

” I first saw this cool guy on facebook last year. We had so much in common and we chatted occasionally but it was simply just to get to know each other more but the more we chatted the more I became attracted to him but i dismissed it just as a mere infatuation because he had a girlfriend. After some gap we started chatting again and made plans to meet up once. He was the one who initiated the plan and i didn’t want to disappoint him, plus i was interested in him. So we met and after a few days he confessed he likes me. We met frequently after that and eventually fell in love or so i thought. He was still with the girl though but kept assuring me he loves me only and that he was going to break up with her even before we met. I waited but nothing happened. And finally he came with the excuse that the girl wouldn’t break up with him. I said some nasty things to him(which i still regret to this day)and stopped all contacts with him after that.
I realize now that he never loved me. I feel stupid saying this but it’s no use even trying to move on because the problem is that I gave my all to him and I still love him. And he’s still with her.
What should I do? Please help me!!”

Admin Note – Let’s just say that you made a mistake trusting him. Now coming to the solution,

1) Don’t say that there is ‘no use even trying to move on’ because this is what you want and you already have taken the first step by asking for help. So you did the right thing now lets start with getting rid of the negativity.

2) Since, I assume that since you said that you have stopped all contacts with him, you would have blocked him from social media. in addition to doing that please delete all the conversation and pictures that you have of him. You also need to block his gf because stalking her will effect you the same way.

3) Now that you have actually got rid of him from your phone and social media let’s delete the songs that reminds you of him alongwith all the sad songs. Update your songs by adding some nice and positive songs, this will help, trust me.

4) Since there is a lot of negativity trapped inside you so better to take them out by writing them on a piece of paper or in digital form. You don’t need to show them to anyone so just be as honest as possible and use a lot curse words. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER.

5) FORGIVE YOURSELF. You need to understand that people are good at lying when it comes to something they want and you got played by the sweet lies of his. You made a mistake and now its time to forgive yourself.

6) You might have physical with him which doesn’t make you impure or such stupid words, you need to get over the taboo this physical relationship has as this is one of the biggest reason a girl feels guilty. I know it’s a big deal but shit happens. We all make mistakes. You need to move on.

7) When you feel like that you still love him, remember the reasons you hate him. Best move to move on to hate a person. I don’t mean that you should plan a brutal revenge plan but just hate him enough so that you can move on.

God bless.
Stay Strong.

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